Sunday, October 01, 2006

Alabama Award Show

Because some players deserve awards for their performances.

The "Predator menage a trois" Award

Reggie deserves that pair of tridelts, that's for damn sure. The Governor of California once said of Nelson: "If he bleeds, we can kill him." So far, no one has made him bleed and he's been collecting heads all over the schedule. Here's hoping he can fit a pair of polished tiger skulls to his belt.

The "Byron Leftwich with a Jetpack" Award

This one goes to Chris Leak and his physics defying 45 yard run. Alabama's defense had their hands full planning for Florida's many offensive weapons, but somehow I do not think their gameplan included a stop for "#12 Gamebreaking run." Florida's QB situation is a textbook example of sports racism gone wrong. The white QB is the fast, athletic playmaker while the black QB is the slow bookworm with a laser rocket arm.

The "Incubus has written twenty five songs about how much I miss you" Award

Who else but Scoop could win this award? While the D did a pretty good job against Alabama at times it seemed like QB 2-a-day had all day to throw. Scoop, and his body, Marcus Thomas, bring the Gator pass rush to murderous levels. Thinking of Marcus Thomas doing backflips onto oppossing quarterback's faces brings much happiness around the Church of Albert.

The "Weapon X needs to give you a healing factor" Award

According to the AP, DeShawn Wynn is questionable for LSU. That's not good. UF finally gets a tailback and fate takes him out when the team most needs him. Say your prayers to Albert, maybe he'll "nut up" and make it back.


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