'Gator Wranglin' for October 13th Stealing stories from America's best student paper

Mr. Two-Bits is perhaps the greatest man in the world. He's a true Gator Warrior with a first class ticket to Valhalla waiting for him. Like a cheer-leading zombie, he’s never aged and never lost energy. He’s flirted with retirement, and it’s hard to believe that it’s every for real, but every time it’s mentioned I will fear the possibility of his leaving. Every year the Alligator runs an article extolling the greatness of Mr. Two-Bits, and yet again his retirement is mentioned.

Please don’t leave us!